Birthing Center

3 05 2008

Everytime my wife has been pregnant (she is pregnant for the third time now), she has insisted that she is going to have the baby naturally.  And, everytime, I have supported her in her endeavor.  That is, until the moment of truth when someone at the hospital mentions drugs and my wife waivers just a bit in her steadfastness.  At that moment, when I should be her rock, her encourager, instead, I am all about the drugs…bring em on and bring em fast!

Well, this time, my wife has decided she needs more than just my support to be successful.  So, she has decided to have our next child at a birthing center using a midwife.  Her thinking is that if she has the full support of staff and facility that she will be able to battle through successfully.  In other words, no one will be there trying to sell her on something she doesn’t really want.  And, truly, what they are actually doing is trying to make the process easier for themselves and, more importantly, trying to add unnecessary items to the final bill of sale.

I have been asking her a lot lately why it is that she wants to have a natural birth so badly.  I mean, in my way of thinking, why put yourself through an extreme amount of pain and agony when there is really no reason to.  She hasn’t waivered in her responses.  First, there can be negative side-effects to the drugs up to and including death.  And secondly, as a strong woman, she knows she can do this and she wants to prove it to herself and to others.  Third, women have done it the natural way for thousands of years and if they can do it, so can she.  Plus, this is the way God intended it.

I try to argue that women have had headaches for thousands of years too, but she still takes an aspirin once in a while to remedy hers.  But for some reason, this argument never holds water – something that still doesn’t make sense to me.

Regardless, I really do want her to know that I am her closest and strongest supporter.  And, I AM committed to doing whatever is best for her and our kids – No matter what.  But, we still carry on the debate.  She has even asked me talk to some friends of ours at church that had their last child at a birthing center.  So, I did talk to them.  And, I tried to ask them the right questions to get them to explain to me why this method is so much better.  And, honestly, I don’t feel that I got any closer to understanding.

This is all on my mind now because she and I just came from a class at the local Birthing Center where we plan to have our third child in August.  It was just a simple class to go over logistics and ask questions, etc.  But, I did sort of leave feeling a little better about things.

I am still scared to death about doing it this way, but I can certainly acknowledge a few positives.  I certainly agree that with our first two babies, the hospitals and doctors really did nothing to show that they cared about our wishes.  I think they were just interested in shuffling us in and out as quickly as possible and at the highest possible price point.  Additionally, I understand that this is something that is truly important to my wife.  And, if it makes her feel stronger and somehow validates her as a strong woman, then I can support that.  And, lastly, I can see how the recovery time for her and the baby could possibly be easier.

So, this should be an interesting journey.  I am excited to have a third baby and, yet, petrified not to have the safety net of the trained medical staff and facilities in close proximity.  But, I know my wife is a strong person.  I just have to be strong too.