Birthing Center

3 05 2008

Everytime my wife has been pregnant (she is pregnant for the third time now), she has insisted that she is going to have the baby naturally.  And, everytime, I have supported her in her endeavor.  That is, until the moment of truth when someone at the hospital mentions drugs and my wife waivers just a bit in her steadfastness.  At that moment, when I should be her rock, her encourager, instead, I am all about the drugs…bring em on and bring em fast!

Well, this time, my wife has decided she needs more than just my support to be successful.  So, she has decided to have our next child at a birthing center using a midwife.  Her thinking is that if she has the full support of staff and facility that she will be able to battle through successfully.  In other words, no one will be there trying to sell her on something she doesn’t really want.  And, truly, what they are actually doing is trying to make the process easier for themselves and, more importantly, trying to add unnecessary items to the final bill of sale.

I have been asking her a lot lately why it is that she wants to have a natural birth so badly.  I mean, in my way of thinking, why put yourself through an extreme amount of pain and agony when there is really no reason to.  She hasn’t waivered in her responses.  First, there can be negative side-effects to the drugs up to and including death.  And secondly, as a strong woman, she knows she can do this and she wants to prove it to herself and to others.  Third, women have done it the natural way for thousands of years and if they can do it, so can she.  Plus, this is the way God intended it.

I try to argue that women have had headaches for thousands of years too, but she still takes an aspirin once in a while to remedy hers.  But for some reason, this argument never holds water – something that still doesn’t make sense to me.

Regardless, I really do want her to know that I am her closest and strongest supporter.  And, I AM committed to doing whatever is best for her and our kids – No matter what.  But, we still carry on the debate.  She has even asked me talk to some friends of ours at church that had their last child at a birthing center.  So, I did talk to them.  And, I tried to ask them the right questions to get them to explain to me why this method is so much better.  And, honestly, I don’t feel that I got any closer to understanding.

This is all on my mind now because she and I just came from a class at the local Birthing Center where we plan to have our third child in August.  It was just a simple class to go over logistics and ask questions, etc.  But, I did sort of leave feeling a little better about things.

I am still scared to death about doing it this way, but I can certainly acknowledge a few positives.  I certainly agree that with our first two babies, the hospitals and doctors really did nothing to show that they cared about our wishes.  I think they were just interested in shuffling us in and out as quickly as possible and at the highest possible price point.  Additionally, I understand that this is something that is truly important to my wife.  And, if it makes her feel stronger and somehow validates her as a strong woman, then I can support that.  And, lastly, I can see how the recovery time for her and the baby could possibly be easier.

So, this should be an interesting journey.  I am excited to have a third baby and, yet, petrified not to have the safety net of the trained medical staff and facilities in close proximity.  But, I know my wife is a strong person.  I just have to be strong too.




6 responses

3 05 2008

Congratulations on having a third baby!
Congratulations on being such an awesome husband and supporting your wife in her choice of birthplace! You have no idea how much that ROCKS in the general world of women.
As an aside. I know that here, in Canada, midwives have all the qualifications for handling any sort of emergency. In fact, through our own experience. I have found that the paramedics in my Province don’t even carry infant equipment or a person who has infant intubation training to a call… even when you say it was a planned home birth or a precipitous birth.
So… long story short. Your birth centre will have awesome people to help you and your wife with welcoming this new baby!
Congratulations again! I felt awesome after my last two births… like I could do anything! I’d had a warranted cesarean with my first child… and it was a long hard recovery!
I look forward to hearing more of your journey! Tell your wife I am rooting for her!

4 05 2008
Kyle Stickens

Well we certainly need to know when you head to the birthing center to deliver, so we can pray for you. This certainly would scare me too. I think she’ll do fine!

5 05 2008

Thanks for those words of encouragement, hbacmama. You’re right, I have felt very comfortable with the abilities and experience of the staff at the birthing center.

6 05 2008

Hey, congratulations!

I had 4 natural births, one c-section… to be sure: natural is the best way.

Your wife will be wondering: will this ever end? (even moments before the child is born) and will I survive?

Just consider birthing experiences like Mary’s: way out in a manger with NO midwife! Women have been doing this since Eve. And think of Bob, the builder: Can we do this? Yes we can!

And husbands will do fine with this experience as well… 🙂 ! Listen to the midwife (take some time well ahead and get to know her over a cup of tea, if possible, talk about how she helps and how she can help you to help) during birth… you can be so pro-active, you can “catch” the baby when it comes! Or your wife can help carry the baby out!!!

(OK, don’t freak out… I intended to be encouraging!)

One last thought: Not many children are born today (successfully) in hospitals, most children, worldwide are born naturally with help of midwifes. You have been taught that hospitals are the most important place… it is time to find your way back to a natural thinking and a natural childbirth.

(Just imagine how bizarre it would be if society were to be conditioned to think that the only safe place to concieve children would be in a sanitary hospital institution with people to monitor the whole process?)

7 05 2008

Yes, actually after the little class we went to the other day, we filled out our “Birthing plan” where I said I was interested in catching the baby. I never even knew this was an option. But, it sounds awesome. A little scary, too, but awesome at the same time.
You make very valid points, keep the comments coming!

12 09 2008
The birthing center experience « BuffaloNickel

[…] not blogged about the birthing event itself.  For those of you following this blog, you know from previous posts that we planned to have the baby at a birthing […]

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